Two in fact:

The one on the right is female and the one on the left is male. The difference, apparently, is in the apron which is the bit in the middle on their bottoms / fronts shown in the second photo. The females is bigger and tends to be furry round the edge, which is nice.

Anyhoo, we (the royal we as in wifey and I) were up in Whitby for the weekend visiting relatives. We popped round to see Kate’s Grandad who had just received shipment of 20 fresh crabs and was in the process of boiling them (which takes about 15 minutes I think). This is what they look like before:

And this is what they look like after:

They’re not something I’ve come in contact before so I had a good gander. They’re certainly not cute things. And the whole hairy, spidery type legs are disgusting. Unlike Kate’s Grandad, I’d make a lousy fishermen.

We were kindly given a couple to take home with us and when we did, Bob went ape shit since he could their fishy goodness. He had a good sniff, but wasn’t right impressed that he couldn’t open them via a ring pull like his Whiskers (cracking them open will be a job for tomorrow with a rolling pin and tea towel).

And I suppose I should finish this wonderfully titled post with something related:

“Balding man strokes ginger pussy into ecstasy”