Let me introduce myself, I am Mr. Akismet. I work behind the scenes here at Pauked.com. Normally I’d keep myself to myself, but given the coast is clear, I fancied a natter. Most of the time I’m allowed to sleep in my cosy bed with its plush blankets made from PHP, HTML and CSS. See my job is pretty simple. I’m either asleep or eating. Thats all I do.

What do I eat I hear you ask? Ah well thats a good question with a simple answer. Spam! I eat all kinds of it. From big juicy chunks to the smallest, tiniest bits. I’m not picky, anything goes! I just love spam. I luuuuuv the SPAM! Yes, yes indeed. Even when I’m asleep I think about it. Its the bestest thing in the whole world wide web.

What’s that you say, spam isn’t that good? Ha ha, you’re thinking of the reformed meat product made from pigs arses and trotters. No silly, I mean those tasty emails that contain gibberish telling me how much they love our web site and that their casino will make us all million, billion, trillionaires! Those crazy jokers!

The last few days though, whew, let me tell you I have been busy! I fear I’m going to become a porker. We don’t have a big site here and I’m only used to small deliveries of 4 or 5 a week, but in the last two days I’ve had over 50! But boy have I enjoyed them. I’ve felt like a pig in shit. Its been fantastic!

Anyway, I can’t stand around here all day yapping to you lot, I’ve got spam to eat. Toodle pip!